The reality is vastly different. No one gets off that easy, and the term of ‘overnight sensation’ doesn’t take into account how long you’re been struggling to win an audience.
“Guys make perfect gun slingers, walking into a room, flashing everyone with their promises and big business ideas, stirring up the pot and leaving it at that. Women on the other hand, struggle to make promises that they know they can’t keep. We feel committed and obligated to follow through, and keep our word.” Hagar explains. “The thing is that in this kind of industry, you need to know when to pitch, when to take the risk, and when to follow through. Women tend to go on a guilt trip, and find it hard to leave it at just that”.
It’s not a question of being ruthless, it’s a principle of odds, much like gambling. There are always so many great cards on the table, and you can play luck as much as you want, it does not mean you’ll get the perfect hand (let alone win).
Not to mention this fascination that guys seem to have about being the last man standing, and the most successful one at that. ” It should be about working together as a collective” Hagar comments. “Working solo is so old school”
“It’s like they are a little kid in a toy store. They want it all. They want to grow up to be the superhero. Guys get to live out the fun side of things, while we end up dealing with the rest.” Hagar adds.
Yet you would think that in an industry governed by multitasking, there should be more women about. There are, the thing is that most of them are just not the leading ladies type. They’re the sidekicks. Amazing Sidekicks in fact, and a force to be reckoned with.
Instead of running around, waving a magic wand and making everyone’s wishes comes true, women find themselves drawn to managing expectations. The guilt trip doesn’t get you far, and you only have so much superpower strength to go around. Instead, women take on manageable promises, with manageable results. Everything else gets filed and has to wait it turn.
The way that women and men also approach a project says a lot. “For a woman, it’s like a pregnancy. The process is time consuming, detailed, and emotional. It becomes a part of you until it’s finally birthed, and you’re ready to cut the cord. Guys slap the event together, focus on the essentials and ignore the trim. They tend to have a far more militaristic approach. Their perfect event carries battle wounds, bar fights, and profit.”
It does have its perks too. Being a women in this Tough Love Industry, means you’re a pro in negotiating needs, and being 100% supportive. Call it woman’s intuition but there are some more delicate matters that can only be cured with a woman’s loving touch and reassuring words. “It also helps when you’re on tour with a band like NYPC (New York Pony Club) understand their needs, and able to help them out with little things, like tampons.” Hagar laughs.